Your results:
You are Derrial Book (Shepherd)
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Even though you are holy you have a mysterious past. You aren't married. Have you taken a vow of celibacy? ![]() |
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You are viewing the most recent 20 entries April 10th, 2006: no fucking surprise here Your results: You are Derrial Book (Shepherd)
Click here to take the "Which Serenity character am I?" quiz... Current Mood: March 17th, 2006: Update time!!! Well I guess it is time for another update. Beast of Burden Yep that is what I am. I work my ass off and I feel worse for wear afterwards. But things look good for my promotion. This sets me up for being able to move to another store if I choose. I am considering leaving best buy but i have much more possibilities for upward movement. I don't want to be wealthy or well off. I want to be comfortable. I can do that with best buy in a little less then a year. hear is hoping. Hearts! It's not just a card game Well for those of you who catch me online and chat or hang out with me or whatever. You all know that Jill and I have separated. This time I believe it is for good. If God chooses her and I to be together again, He better show up and convince me first. It has been very hard on me for the last year. I believe that we could keep things going and be together but I do not think Jill was willing to put in the same amount of effort as I was. This is mere observation and opinion. I do not know what she was thinking. I honestly wish she was more straight with me and honest. I don't know why she did what she did and why she was so inconsistent in our relationship in the last year. I love her and I hope everything works out for her. For now, I am going to live the single life, maybe go out on dates or something. My heart is too raw at this point. I don't want to risk even more damange to it. On the road...again? I have been contemplating moving back to western pa. I am not a big fan of New York. I have made quite a few friends and such and I am close to my parents...yeah living right below them ;) but I have enjoyed more of my life there in West PA. If I get my promotion, then I am going to work towards transferring to a Best Buy store in west pa. Most of my closer friends are down there. Maybe it is a reset that I need in my life or just a return to when I was more stable and closer to content. I don't know if this will happen soon or not at all. It is just something on my mind that I figured I would let everyone know about. In other news... I have been working on a novel for a little less then year and am hoping to turn it into a comic/graphic novel. Image Comics likes the core of the story and might consider publishing it if I choose to take it to a more graphic format. I am currently looking to a few people to do the illustration of it, but I have yet to find a person whose style is what I want for it. Seeking pursuits of the imagination with little stacks of paper and multi-side objects I am have running a d20 Faerun game and things have been going well. On Mar 10-12, I when to COSCon and enjoy the LARP to its fullest extent. I am now a narrarator which means I ahve some responsibility in running the game but I can still play my character. The event was fantastic, even with all the screwiness of the second evening. The STs did a great job and I appreciate their hard work. In closing... I tend to sit on my ass in my room and think a lot. Thankfullyl I am not as self-destructive as I was in high school or nearly as prone to depression as I was in high school or college. I find that just rolling t hings over in my head helps me justify things and works thing out logically and so I do not suffer as much. But overall I am in an odd state of solace. I hope it blooms into contentment, but only God knows that right now...and maybe, just maybe, He will clue me in soon enough. Until then folks I will catch you later Current Mood: March 15th, 2006: irony has a nice ring to it March 1st, 2006: How is this not a F&^%ing surprise
Current Mood: Current Music: 40oz of Freedom by Sublime February 25th, 2006: Tempests and Chaos Hello everyone, Figured I would give an update on life in general. First off Occupational Enigmas I work for Best Buy/Geek Squad. I have been working there since July '04. I have enjoyed working there. I have moved up in the ranks relatively quickly. I became the senior of the PC sales area. I took that on for almost six month then moved to Geek Squad as the senior. about four months into the tenure, Best Buy put out a mandate that all Geek Squad seniors were to be removed from position if they were not A+ certified. So once again I found myself as senior of the PC sales area. But rumor has that there are going to be restructuring the way leadership is, so I may be recieving a promotion. Onto Escursions into Habitation Well I am still living in my parents' basement. It is comfortable and I am pretty well adjusted to it. I do yearn for more privacy, but considering my parents are both ordained ministers...I don't really see that comign anytime soon. I love them both and they support me quite a bit, but I am very much the black sheep of the family. So we don't see quite eye to eye on things. They have yet to learn that I am bisexual. This is mainly because my mother is a complete homophobe/homo-hater. And I have no doubt that she will have a true to life heart attack...and I really don't feel like killing my mother by "coming out." But overall, home life is content. Next we visit the Expulsion of the Imagination I have been working on a novel/graphic novel for several months now. I am doing quite well at flushing out the first 12 chapters. I have spoken to a few publishers and so Image Comics has shown the most interest. They currently are reviewing my first three chapters. So far I have gotten no response but I am eager to hear their opinions. If things work out it will be published as a monthly comic with of course annual trade paperbacks. If the comic kicks off right, then the novel will be published as a Graphic novel. So hope thigns work out well. Finally, we come to the Fickle Creature of Love. Jill and I are trying to be boyfriend and girlfriend again, but the distance is sitll a little rough on us. I love her with all my heart. I miss her quite a bit and think about her a lot. But thanks to our busy schedules, visiting is not very easy. But I try to keep her content and happy and her happiness means a lot to me. She is going through a lot right now, and she knows that I am here for her no matter what. Pleaes pray for her. Anyway, overall life is chaotic but such are things. So I must flow with the streams of the lifethreads...the many paths of fate. Lux mea Deus. Current Mood: December 30th, 2005: duh
November 21st, 2005: Movie Super Whore right here!!! Put an x next to the movies you've seen. If you have more thenm 70, you are a movie whore! 1(x)Pirates of the Caribbean 2( )The Mexican 3(x)Fight Club 4(x)Starsky and Hutch 5(x)Neverending Story 6(x)Blazing Saddles 7( )Garden State 8(X)The Princess Bride 9(x)Young Frankenstein 10( )AnchorMan 11( )Napoleon Dynamite 12(x)Saw 13( )White Noise 14(x)White Oleander 15(x)Anger Management total here: 10 1(x)50 First Dates 2(X )Jason X 3(x)Scream 4(x)Scream 2 5(x)Scream 3 6(x)Scary Movie 7(x)Scary Movie 2 8(x)Scary Movie 3 9(x)American Pie 10(x)American Pie 2 11(X)American Wedding 12(X)Harry Potter 13(X)Harry Potter 2 14(X)Harry Potter 3 15(x)Resident Evil 16(x)Resident Evil 2 17(x)The Wedding Singer 18( )Little Black Book total here : 17 1(x) The Village 2(x)Donnie Darko 3(x)Lilo & Stitch 4(x)Finding Nemo 5( )Finding Neverland 6(x)13 Ghosts 7(x)Signs 8(x)The Grinch 9(x)Texas Chainsaw Massacre 10(x)White Chicks 11(x)Butterfly Effect 12( )Suddenly 30 13(x)I, Robot 14(x)Dodgeball 15(X)Universal Soldier 16( )A Series Of Unfortunate Events 17(x)Along Came A Spider 18(x)Deep Impact total here: 15 1(x)KingPin 2(x)Never Been Kissed 3(x)Meet The Parents 4(x)Meet the Fockers 5(x)Eight Crazy Nights 6(x)A Cinderella Story 7(X)The Terminal 8( )The Lizzie McGuire Movie 9( )Passport to Paris 10(x)Dumb & Dumber 11( )Dumb & Dumberer 12(x)Final Destination 13(x)Final Destination 2 14(x)Halloween 15(x)The Ring 16( )The Ring 2 17( )Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle 18(x)Practical Magic 19(x)Chicago 20(x)Ghost Ship 21(x)From Hell 22(x)Hellboy 23( )Secret Window 24(x)I Am Sam 25(x)The Whole Nine Yards 26(x)The Whole Ten Yards 27(x)The Day After Tomorrow 28(x)Child's Play 29(x)Bride of Chucky 30(x)Ten Things I Hate About You 31(x)Just Married 32( )Gothika 33(x)Nightmare on Elm Street 34(x)Sixteen Candles 35(x)Bad Boys 36(x)Bad Boys 2 37(x)Joy Ride 38(x)Seven 39(x)Ocean's Eleven 40( )Ocean's Twelve 41(x)Identity total here: 33 1(X)Lone Star 2(x)Predator I 3(x)Predator II 4(x)Independence day 5(x)Cujo 6( )A Bronx Tale 7(x)Darkness Falls 8( )Christine 9(x)ET 10(x)Children of the Corn 11(X)My Boss' Daughter 12(X)Maid in Manhattan 13(X)Frailty 14(x)How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days 15(x)She's All That 16( )Calendar Girls 17(X)Sideways 18(x)Mars Attacks total here : 15 1(x)Event Horizon 2(x)Ever After 3(x)Forrest Gump 4( )The Others 5( )Freaky Friday 6(x)Reign of Fire 7(x)The Hot Chick 8(X)Swimfan 9(X)Miracle 10(x)Old School 11(X)Ray 12( )The Notebook 13(x)K-Pax total here :10 1(x)Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring 2(x)Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers 3(x)Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King 4(X)A Walk to Remember 5( )Boogeyman 6( )Hitch 7(x)The Fifth Element 8(x)Star Wars episode I The Phantom Menace 9(x)Star Wars episode II Attack of The Clones 10(x)Star Wars episode III Revenge of The Sith 11(x)Star Wars episode IV A New Hope 12(x)Star Wars episode V The Empire Strikes Back 13(x)Star Wars episode VI Return of the Jedi 14(X)Troop Beverly Hills 15(X)Swimming with Sharks 16(x)Air Force One 17(x)For Richer or Poorer 18(X)People Under the Stairs 19(X)Blue Velvet 20(x)Sound of Music 21(x)Parent Trap 22(X)The Burbs 23(x)The Terminator 24(x)Empire Records 25(x)Meet Joe Black 26(x)Clockwork Orange 27(x)The Order 28(x)Spiderman 29(x)Spiderman 2 30( )Amelie 31(X)Scotland, PA 32(X)The Graduate total here: 29 1( )Mean Girls 2(x)Shrek 3(x)Shrek 2 4(x)The Incredibles 5(x)Collateral 6(x)The Fast & The Furious 7(X)2 Fast 2 Furious 8( )Sky Captain Of The World Of Tomorrow 9(X)Closer total here: 7 1(x)Titanic 2( )Saved 3(x)Bowling For Columbine 4(X)Farenheit 9/11 5(x)The Sixth Sense 6(X)Artificial intelligence 7( )Love, Actually 8( )Shutter 9( )Ella Enchanted 10(X)Princess Diaries 1 11( )Princess Diaries 2 12(x)Constantine 13( )Million Dollar Baby 14(x)Envy 15(x)Eurotrip 16(x)Malibu's Most Wanted 17(x)Big Daddy 18(x)Black sheep 19(x)The Breakfast Club 20(x)West side story total here : 15 1(x)A Christmas Story 2(X)Spanglish 3(x)Pulp Fiction 4( )Sleepover 5(x)The Evil Dead 6(X)Killer Klowns From Outer Space 7(x)The Seed of chucky 8(x)Vanilla Sky 9(x)Nightmare Before Christmas 10(x)Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind 11(x)Interview With The Vampire 12(x)The Crow 13(x)Purple Rain 14(x)Wayne's World total here: 13 1(x)Wayne's World 2 2( )21 Grams 3(x)Blow 4(x)Edward Scissorhands 5(X)Clerks 6(x)Beauty and the Beast 7( )Guess Who 8( )Monster in-Law 9(x)Elf 10(x)Stuart Little 11( )Stuart Little 2 12(X)Chasing Amy 13(x)Dogma 14(x)Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back total here : 10 1(x)Beetlejuice 2(x)Last Samurai 3(x)The Amityville Horror 4( )The Aviator 5(x)Romeo and Juliet 6(X)Barbershop 7( )Barbershop 2 8( )Beauty Shop 9(x)Legally Blonde 10(x)Legally Blonde 2 11( )The Forgotten 12( )Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen 13(x)The Grudge total here: 8 TOTAL: 182 Current Mood: November 11th, 2005: Geekdom at it finest Rebuilt my PC with my buddy shawn. I love how it turned out. ![]() ![]() I think it kicks ass! October 30th, 2005: could have seen that coming ![]() KNIGHT You are the Knight, the legendary, romantic hero of great kingdoms. The Knight is a true warrior and an epic hero. He will do anything to defend his honor and his kingdom. Whatever his lord or king commands he will do without hesitation. He is very virtuous; he holds honesty, loyalty, and bravery in very high regard. Color: Purple Animal: Lion Gem: Ruby Symbol: Shield Image: http://www.deviantart.com/view/7339749/ Who would you be if you were a character in an epic fantasy? (beautiful pictures) brought to you by Quizilla October 7th, 2005: I am such a dork
October 6th, 2005: Just because everyone else is doing it
September 18th, 2005: down or out Well I don't know what really to say. I am feeling quite down tonight. I just feel that things aren't right...but I don't know why. I miss my friends and can't wait to see them but then I am going to have to go back home. People I care about don't talk to me as much and my life just seems like I work, game, and sleep. *shrugs* who knows! tomorrow is another day. I miss the calls from my friends. But then again...they have their own lives to live. BWAKITAH!!! Live long and the force be with you. Current Mood: August 25th, 2005: more confused then the last time I was drunk I know I don't post on here a lot. I mostly keep my personal feelings, gripes, and other crap to myself. There are those who I confide in, but I have never really felt comfortable about waxing eloquent about what has been going on in my life on the internet. I have faced a lot of changes, obstacles, and challenges through my life. Most of the time I can bounce back pretty well. This week hsa been hell...I have had hopes stomped out, my mind turned inside out, and a feeling of rejection stronger then any other time in my life. I feel empty and numb, but I have friends to comfort me. Have I really pushed too hard? Have I not done enough? I know what I want, but because of my feelings, I give to others, leaving behind my wants. I have been the shoulder to lean on for a long time. I have been the ear that listens, and the voice of advice. I have been the many things in my time on this earth. I have portrayed a large diversity of characters. Expressed emotions, mannerisms, and quirks each time. I know who I am, I know what I want. Then why do I feel empty. Why do I feel that I am God's little scherzo, His punching bag, his little experiment in torture. My see-sawing life. Things start to look good. My hopes build. My comfort almost accomplished....then everything is destroyed. THis cycle, like each passing year. the Spring of blooming and prosperity. The summer of love and fertility. The autumn of decay...then the winter of death...and thus renew into the birth of another year....another cycle. Why must God dash my life upon the rocks? I trust Him to guide me. I trust Him to put me on the path of His choosing. I strive and attempt. I never succeed. I try. Why try? Every other time, I seem to make the wrong decision no matter what the course. I seem to plan and prepare just to have the whole situation implode. It is truly sad to say I have become accustomed to pain, no matter what type. yet when others hurt around me, I am the pillar. I am the fortress to protect them from the storm of life's strife. When will I feel solace and contentment? Who bloody knows! Maybe I shall once again wait for the winter to pass and pray and hope that I shall once again strive towards joy. "If love is not enough, then I shall learn to love pain, for that I have in abundance." August 23rd, 2005:
~*~Result nr 6~*~ Your power is: Transformation
What Power is Compatible With You? [beautiful anime pictures + 12 detailed results] brought to you by Quizilla December 9th, 2004December 7th, 2004: ooo yellow ![]() Your Energy is Yellow. You are generous, bright, and expressive. An excellent communicator, you keep your audience captivated with your animated storytelling. Sometimes you talk too much, but when you learn to listen you will be sought out for your talents to advise. The communications field appeals to you as a profession. Public speaking, writing, radio, acting or teaching would also be good career choices. What color is your energy? brought to you by Quizilla December 2nd, 2004November 24th, 2004: if your friends do it...might as join the crowd...damnit and I am non-conformist THREE NAMES YOU GO BY: Matt, Nox, aRJay THREE SCREEN NAMES YOU HAVE HAD: CrazyRJ, Matt aRJay, Noxlupi THREE THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF: My imagination, my sense of humour, um...my sense of humour? THREE THINGS YOU HATE ABOUT YOURSELF: my procrastination, lack of confidence, my lack of money THREE PARTS OF YOUR HERITAGE: Irish, Irish, and oh yeah, a pinch more irish THREE THINGS THAT SCARE YOU: That monster under my bed THREE OF YOUR EVERYDAY ESSENTIALS: Game Books, online chat with friends, and masturbation (just kidding) THREE THINGS YOU ARE WEARING RIGHT NOW: umm...wait give me a minute......... boxers, t-shirt, and comfy pants ;) THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE BANDS AT THE MOMENT: Drain STH, Jimmy Eat World, Atreyu THREE OF YOUR FAVORITES SONGS AT THE MOMENT: Alive - Drain STH Jimmy Eat World - Pain King Nothing - Metallica THREE THINGS YOU WOULD WANT IN A RELATIONSHIP: Passion, Love, and a freak in bed ;) THREE THINGS ABOUT THE OPPOSITE SEX THAT APPEAL TO YOU: Smile, Eyes, Mischevious nature THREE THINGS YOU CAN'T DO: Anything heavily physical due to my dumbass knees, see my girl anytime I want, work less than 65 hours a week THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE HOBBIES: Gaming, sound editing, drawing THREE THINGS YOU WANT REALLY BAD RIGHT NOW: Money, a car, and my girl nekkid in my bed THREE CAREERS YOU'RE CONSIDERING: Teacher, Audio/Video Production, Radio DJ THREE PLACES YOU WOULD GO ON VACATION: Ireland, California (fuck if I know why), and Australia THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE: Have a kid with my loving wife, get out of debt, get one of my stories published October 22nd, 2004: sometimes I hate my mind Every now and then I start thinking and I can't stop. Something starts the wheels and gears of my conciousness to start spinning and grinding and working...and it won't fucking stop. I hate that. Tonight is no different I have so many things to think about now. 1) I have been thinking about this a while...maybe close to the longest thing that has been on my mind. How I managed to get my ass stuck in my parents' basement working two retail jobs stuck in this financial mess. For those who know me...know I have been thinking about this since around the year 2000. 2) Where is my fucking life going...I have no clue at this point. I know where I want it to go...I just don't know where that is at this moment. 3) How I can change the above. 4) When is God going help me get out of the situation I am in. What does He want me to do? How is He going to use me? 5) This next one is a difficult one for me and requires some back history and a little explanation. Alright, when I was young and stupid I got myself engaged to a smart and attractive young lady. I had completely fallen for her. I thought I had found the one. I asked her to be my wife. Then...after a few months, things started going really bad. We eventually broke up. I haven't seen her since. I have heard she is doing very well though. Well, I seriously have been considering asking Jill to be my wife. I love her with every ounce of my existence and continuously thank God that He brought her into my life. I am just scared at this point...will history repeat itself or will this finally be the next step in my life. The joy that I have longed for...for so long. I know how I want to ask her...but right now...I don't have the means to pull it off at this moment. I want to make her happy...beyond everything. I just don't want to end up getting her hurt or hurting her myself. That is the last thing I wanna do. 6) I continuously try to get a better job. I send out cover letters and resumes. I talk to people. Yet, I am either over qualified. Don't have enough experience. Don't have the right experience. Not enough profession experience. Don't hear back. Get rejection letters. It seems like the professional world doesn't want me. Like I am going to be stuck in retail. What next I lose retail and end up working at fucking burger king or some shite like that. Who fucking knows. 7) There are thingsa bout myself that I have yet to reveal to my parents. Some things that I don't tell them because I fear for their reactions. I know they will still love me...I know they will still care...but will they kick me out of the house...will they come down on me because of how I am...who I am. 8) My parents...not the people I live with and who have done a fine job raising me...no the two people who gave me life. The two young people who inadvertantly conceived me way back in 1977. I would just like to meet them so I can thank them for not aborting me....maybe find out if I have siblings...maybe even see the family resemblance. *Shrugs* Well anyway...my mind is starting to calm and I am starting to feel a little more relaxed...maybe even be able to get to sleep. See ya around Current Mood: September 9th, 2004 |
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